Conversation with mom 5 minutes ago

me:  "Mom i'm in chicago for work.  i need you to buy me a dresser and rug right now.  its on sale at macys."

mom:  "Juree, you cannot just push human beings.  I am hiking with daddy right now. dont call me." 

(click).

herro
we have this philipino kid that works in the office.  he tried out for Jabbawockeez dance crew but didnt make the cut.  i should show him my Matrix dance move.... 

anywayz...look what this fool said to me today at work:

"TIME IS MONEY SO I WENT AND BOUGHT A ROLEX"

"TIME IS MONEY SO I WENT AND BOUGHT A ROLEX"

"WE TALKIN MEEEELIONZ"

"IM TALKING MEEEELIONZ"

"NOW WHEN I GET PAID, MY CHECKS BE LOOKING LIKE PHONE NUMBERS"

"NOW WHEN I GET PAID, MY CHECKS BE LOOKING LIKE PHONE NUMBERS"

"WE TALKIN MEEEEELIONZ"

"IM TALKING MEELIONZ"


THANKS TO JESS THE PREZ FOR INTRODUCING ME TO MY FAVORITE NEW SONG IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!  

i wonder if dre heard this song before, i can see him listening to this in his car with the windows rolled down and driving slow in his mafia looking mercedes.

okie, back to cold callin.....we gettin ready for tradeshow season.  dre's checkin my call logs now........SO WE BE MAKIN MEEEEEEELIONZ!!!!

WORK PARTY 2MMRW!!! YAYERS!

rong time no brog!

herro
it's been a minute rice since i updated my brog!

i have been talking fobby all day, and its so much fun cuz it cracks the white people up, like Tara the Riviera.  when i was a kid, i used to get embarressed when my dad talked with his asian fobby accent.  now im becoming just rike him!  Rove you rong time!  "Fwat.....u want DUMPRINGS?!?!?  U TAKE ONRY 1 SOY SAUCE!  U TOUCH U BUY NOW!  U WANT SAM-PULL?" 

on the flip mode.....i am starting to look duper tan cuz i been surfing every single weekend.  i have dedicated my saturdays and sundays to learn, and even cut back on drinking late nights.  i wake up at 6am, pack my shit and board and take the train all the way to Rockaway.  It truly sucks ass lugging a 7 foot board through the subway....but it's worth it...cuz i caught my first 3 waves BY MYSELF.  im scared if i keep paddeling alot, my body is gonna look like a linebacker.  i used to have a girlfriend that would make fun of another bigger girlfriend and called her "linebacker" behind her back.  that's messed up.....i hope i don't look like a linebacker.  ugh.  i dont wanna be butch.  i used to snowboard alot too for like 6 years, like 3 times a week in the winter, and my legs got so buff they looked like hoagies.  so i had to cut back.  normally people wanna be toned and buff.  not me, i wanna look like a bean pole, but i eat cupcakes for breakfast.  chinatown also got those mean ham and cheese rolls for $0.80, i been eating those nonstop too.  dude, i need to stop.  fruit of the spirit, self control.

what else.  i dunno.  all i do is daydream about surfing..... 

U WANT SAM-PUL?!   SUCK IT!  LIL DUDE!

i was super sick this week.  chest congestion, nasal congestion, breathing problems, psychological problems, swollen glands, thick mucus, and body aches.  it was awful....and u know what?!?!??!?  i didnt even call in sick.....just like Dirk...we work rain or shine, good days and bad...and Dre yelled at me yesterday and i took it like a woman!  i just nodded my head and "AGREED." 

newayz...i took a break at work and made myself an EMERGEN-C pink lemonade.  it taste like poo...so i added 5 packets of sugar.  now it's banging.

tara is getting sick too.  i think i got her sick.  she sits right next to me and always giggles.  she loves the beach and sand in between her toes.  she has this very RVCA/Erin Wasson style..and blonde hair and blue eyes.  she's single too.  even though she prob likes broke guys...i want her to date this ER Doctor from Austin.  I've never met him..but he's probably rich.  Even though Tara doesn't care bout things like that...i'm gonna be superficial for her..and make sure she finds a man that buys her drinks for once.  Cuz this girl is the type to walk into a bar...take out her wallet...and buy EVERYONE and their mom a round of drinks.  OH HEYALLLLLLLLLL NO!  anyways...she goin Uptown tonite to find a Dominican street baller.  intense.

ok...back to workie!  SUCK IT!  LIL DUDE!

Why did God create humans to have so much fun on weekends?!?!?! I LOVE HAVING FUN...IT'S SO FUN!

in the span of 4 days....

I saw the Dallas game at Oneils and Epsteins......went surfing 2 days....(2nd day i popped up on my board 4x's without help).....went to esquina...goldbar...a Spanish tapas joint.....employees only.......maxfish.....XIX......riff raff.......pathmark......and redeemer church.


ZANG!!!   thanks to tara the riveria for paving the way and showing me how to let loose and drink like a fish.  i rearize i love dancing...drinking...surfing...watching basketball.....getting pummelled by waves......and toppin it off with chuch!


LETS DO IT AGAIN NEXT WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  F* YEAH!  YEE HAW!

the day the earth stood still

i have the saddest news ever today.....my favorite person is leaving the office.  :(


Gummo has decided to move on to better things in his life.  I actually thought he had reach his peak...being a peon in this office.  But once again, if God can move mountains, God can surely open great opportunities for Trailer Matt.  Im really really sad.  I have some of the most special memories with Gummo.  He let me give him titty twisters everyday, he taught me how to make fun of asians with fobby accents, he showed me how to not be prejudice against people with only $5 in their bank account, he showed me that people who eat hamburger helper really arn't always obese, but most of all.....Gummo was my first skinny white non-skater..but tried to look like a skater friend.  He carried a skateboard with him (but it was just for looks.  he didnt know how to ride it....it matched his Supreme t-shirt)

 I still remember the beginning, when he applied for an internship....he sat on the couch with his backpack...looking like the geek he is....timid as Fievel....scared to talk to Dre...but we seen this dude, like little Fievel...make a life for himself in the Big Apple.  And dog gone it....this dude survived on pennies...saved up...ate mac n cheese...and lived in some ghetto ass apartment with holes in the ceiling...and he made it.  He made something of his geeky self.  I'M SO PROUD OF HIM.  maybe....just maybe...if the stars are aligned.....he will even get laid someday.  but i dunno...cuz matt is always talking bout how he wants to "save himself for marraige"......

anywayz.....matt still has 1 week left..........but already miss him!!!!!!!   CAN YOU BELIEVE I GREW SUCH A SOFT SPOT FOR SUCH A LOSER LIKE MATT?  THIS IS SOOOOOO NOT LIKE ME, CUZ NORMALLY IM SUPERFICIAL AND HATE PEOPLE.....

 GUMMO....MY LITTLE FIEVEL......

COLLARD GREEN SAVED MY RIFE

i have been having stomach pains the whole week.  it was intense...and at times i couldnt sit down, and i laid in the fetal position.  it was very painful.  neWaYz....i went to soul food restaurant with Hutch after work yesterday...and ordered me some catfish and collard greens. 

I DON'T KNOW WHAT BIG MA PUTS IN THOSE GREENS...BUT IT SAVED MY RIFE!  i got a side dish of greens to go, and i just ate it 10 minutes ago.   honestly, im black.   amazing.


okie....tonite im going out with my girlfriends......don't plan on getting wasted cuz i wanna become a better christian..and get my life on the right track.  so im definitely cutting myself at the bar after my 5th drink.

byee!

bobby is the winner

 

DUDE I LOOK LIKE POO TODAY.

MY FACE LOOKS JACKED CUZ ITS ALL TASERED UP, AND I DONT FEEL CONFIDENT.  SO I DIDNT EVEN TRY TO LOOK NICE.  I JUST ROLLED OUTTA BED, BRUSHED MY TEETH, WASHED MY FACE, AND WALKED TO WORK.


I WALKED AROUND THE OFFICE BAREFOOT CUZ MY SHOES AND SOCKS GOT WET FROM THE RAIN.

GEEZ.......I DONT THINK ILL EVER BECOME FAMOUS.  :(



anywayz.....TODAY IS OPPOSITE DAY AT FOUNDATION.....

dude, my mom told me she was taking me to costco, but instead she took me to a cosmetic clinic.  she tricked me....and she told me it was time to get my moles removed from my face...and i freakkkkkkkkkkkkkkked out...cuz a bunch of my korean girlfriends have done this procedure (its as common as getting the double eyelid surgery)...and they always tell me it hurts like a biznatch.  like one of my homegirls did it in korea, and she said it hurt so bad that she couldnt go on with the procedure.  and if u know me, im such a pansy when it comes to pain, and i always run.  thats the main reason i didnt' jump the bandwagon to get the double eyelid surgery...cuz i aint down with nobody slitting my nonexistant eyelids...and after awhile i come to like my almond shaped eyes...and your eye shadow and eyeliner look better that way.

NEWAYZ.....this woman freakin asks me to lay down on a sanitized table, and i told my mom...oh heyall no....im going back to the car...but my mom got all Korean on me...and forced me to do it....so i laid on the table like a sardine waiting for execution.

first this woman examined my face and put cream all over my moles.  and i could feel my palms getting sweaty...and my feet started twitching cuz i was scared.  i asked for my mom to hold my hand, but she freakin' left to a korean grocery store to buy her cosmetic aesthetician friend some lunch and sold me out.  DUDE...SHE WRAPPED MY FACE IN SOME KIND OF SERAN WRAP....and then i didnt think it was so bad...like i could handle cream and seran.  She left me for 30 minutes on that table, and i thought the cream was probably melting off my moles...so i could handle this.  then she walked over later on to remove the seran....and i thought it was a wrap....BUT OH HEYALL NO...THIS BITCH TOOK OUT SOME LASER LOOKING GUN AND I WAS READY TO CRY.  AND ACTUALLY I DID TEAR UP.  LEMME TELL YOU.....THIS WAS THE EQUIVALENT OF GETTING A TATOO REMOVED FROM YOUR FACE...  and i don't even have tatoos...just my natural born moles!  she got that laser, and zapped each cell containing pigment on my face...and i wanted to cuss out the whole room including my mom....but i had no choice...cuz i was tearing up...and the shit hurt so badly.  ...... 45 min later, i was all tasered up..zombified...and desensitized.  i had no hate, no more pain...my face felt numb....and this woman applied more cream over my zapped out moles.  she did the neck ones too...and those hurt like a bitch.  cuz the skin is so thin on your neck, pain factor doubles.  i looked in the mirror....all my moles gone.  including the one near my lip.  :(   that one was the stamp of God's fingerprints on my face.  now gone.  dang, koreans are messed up.  my mom wants to take me to korea to get some real cosmetic surgery.  f* that.  i ain't trying to slice up anything on my body.  big eyes or not.....the moles are as far as ill go. 

UGH.......I have a monster size headache right now...and of all places....i am on a plane.  Fortunately, im not hungover....but i just hate traveling in the air.  i feel so uncomfortable, and squishy, and my head always hurts, and i think im allergic to flying...

and this freakin flite is freakin like 6 freakin hours!!!!!!!


bahhhhhhhhhhhhh humbug.

on a side note, a few months ago i got this email from my buyer:




"HI JULIE!
is there a atonce login for Gshock?would like to order a few today. thanks!"




but then just yesterday he sent me this email:


"YO SHAWWWWWTY...WHAT IT DO, can i order me some elvis iphone case..."


this fool went from Maxfish to Greenhouse.  ya know what im sayin!    i get it....some days im american....but other days i can be fobby kohrean.

right Matt Kehry?  oh sank u.  sank u behry behry muchy.  God bress ahmehdreeeca!

DUDE

TODAY MY FREAKING BOSS ARI WALKED UP TO US IN FRONT OFFICE AND SAID:

"You know....people say I'm a cross between Brad Pitt and Christian Bale."






W

T


F


WHAT PLANET AM I ON?

NOBODY IN THIS SHOWROOM IS ON THE LEVEL OF BRAD PITT OR PAUL WALKER.

IF THAT WAS THE CASE, I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO CONCENTRATE ON GSHOCK ORDERS.


SANK U.

NOW IM GOING BOMBING.

GUMMO AND ME on aim

WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT....

 

straight gnarly.  california based reality shows suck.  the women flaunt their big boobs, tan faces, and talk about silly high school drama.  unfortunately, they rarely have style nor personality.  but these nyc women.......they are amazing.  did you see that armenian woman, who married a bank robber pick a fight?  i thought ashley minton and leah from MOB could beat me up, but this woman Drita....she is even more gangsta.  if she and i were both trying to hail a cab same time, and the cab stopped for me....i would def let her take my cab. 

DON'T LET THE PRETTY FACE FOOL YOU, SHE CAN WHOOP YOU TO PIECES

i got this text from my mom this morning:

"Good morning.  Today is good friday.  Dont drinkkkkk.  oky?  God bless you."

 Im not gonna drink until sunday.  Sunday is when Jesus ressurected so we definitely poppin bottles then.

On a liter note....my coworkers taught me new things about life.

You can use the word BET when you want to confirm something.  So i told my assistant to fax some orders...and he replies...."Bet".


So now when dre says, "Did you clean out my warehouse yet?"   I say, "Ay yo.....BETTTTTTTTTT."

another word Eric the Jabawokezz member taught me is SWAG.  he says you can put this on anything.  Like....


"Your t-shirt is nice......"  response, "SWAG."

"I want some pizza."  response, "Swag."

"Is it raining outside?"  response, "Swag."


And if you rearry wanna be like the Jabawokeez guys, you can tweet, "SWAG, SWAG, SWAG, SWAG, SWAG, SWAG, SWAG, SWAG." 

I don't understand what it means, but im gonna try it.

Should i got to Good Friday service tonight?  My church is near my office, but nobody at my church likes me.  AND I BEEN THERE FOR LIKE 3 YEARS!

herro world.  today Danny from "Danny & The Dingo" was at our showroom.  I love that show!  Because everyone in my showroom sucks...nobody knew who this fool was.  He straight walked in, and not a single person turned around.  hahah.......he ain't got swag like Pusha T.  acturry, i didn't know who Pusha T was either when he first came.  I remember asking him if he was a rapper.  Straight embarrassed him.

Newayz....tonite is the G-Shock x Krink party.   Theres so many parties this evening...im gonna go home after work and wear something cute.  AND THEN IM OFF........OFF...to break necks...and break hearts.  NAH MEAN!

Tara's roomie taught me that.  Her name is Jessica.  I call her Yo Jess...God Bless.  Cuz she's Spanish.  During my uptown days....i used to pass by Spanish men, and they would say, "YO MA!  God BLESS YOU."   

neWayz....

LET'S GO BOMBING!

I AM GETTING WHITE GIRL WASTED TONITE.


TARA THE RIVIERA.....PAVE THE WAY!!!!!!!!

First of all.....after getting paid on Friday....i paid all my bills...and then set aside some spending money for booze, food, and whatever else.  I woke up Saturday morning, headed straight to the Bloomingdales friends and family sale, and spent 75% of my spending money.  (and I gotta wait 2 weeks to get paid again).....and that night, i spent the next 15% on booze....and that leaves me 10% left to survive on.   I rearized that i was kinda bwoke...so i went to the korean grocery store to buy some lunch stuff for my work week.  AND THEN, OMIGOSH.......I FREAKIN PUERTO RICAN LOST MY DEBIT CARD!  BAHHHH!!!!!  NOW IM REALLY REALLY BWOKE......

On a side note....I hung out with Tara the Riviera on Saturday nite, and it was another fun and random night of bombing.  We went from Epsteins, to Thompson hotel, to some discoteca electronica LSD ecstasy garment district club....foh real...like straight outta a movie.  when we got there, there was some random japanese dude in a black trench coat who was supposed to take care of us at the door.  He took me and Tara by the hand, and led us through some dark corridors and up 3 flights of stairs.  When we reached the top floor, it was overlooking alll the electronica dancing people on the bottom.  Then he led us to a table with sofas and a japanese business man with seemingly concubine-types next to him.  He greeted us and shook my hand.  Even though i had no idea who in the hell this fool was...i sure played the part like i was happy to meet him and drink his free bottles.  This was my first "Romeo Must Die" club experience.........and i embraced the strobe lights, discotheque balls, jersey people, skanky girls...meatheads......and even a woman who tried to start a fight with me in the bathroom.  I walked in, and there was a 40ish year old woman sitting on the toilet cuz she was so drunk.  I asked her nicely to move, cuz other people had to pee, and she opened one eye at me, and squinted her face, and said, "SAYS WHO!"  and in my mind, i thought, "oh heyall no bitch, you ain't gonna give me lip, i straight smack you..."......and as i opened my mouth..all i could say was, "Okay.  ill use the next toilet."  Well, it was a weird but fun moment.  As always, Tara the Riviera adapted to her environment and did some electronica dancing, and i just sat back, and made all the cranberry vodkas my little heart desired.  Afterwards, we headed out..and decided to go to Greenhouse.  (Where the FNG rolls).....but we got into a minor car accident and by then it was 3:30 am...and decided the night was awkward enuff and went home in a cab.

WOW, WHY IS LIFE SO EXCITING?!?!?

today around 3:07pm, Hutch walked to the front office and says to the front office....."Well Team, it looks like we're kinda slow today, so i say we cut out early."  With Dre right next to him, Dre goes, "I was gonna say same thing (looks at his watch), we might as let you guys out this afternoon...."

Everyone got excited with eyes wide open....and then Hutch goes. "april fools."  And Dre thought it was soo funny, laughing between him and hutch....litterally cracking up...while everyone just turned back to the computers with shoulders slumped down.

man, the bosses think they are so funny, but in reality...it's actually kinda mean.  there's some things you shouldn't joke about.

And on Dre's way out...he turns to me, and goes, "Julie, actually i really was gonna let you out early...Hutch just said the april fools thing before I could finish..."  I got so bummed, with shoulder slumped even lower to the ground, and puppy dog eyes....and Dre turns around and goes, "april fools."

why is everyone so mean here.  :(

LIFE IS VERY BORING LATELY FOR THE FOLLOWING REASONZ:

1.)  I've had the same hairstyle for too long, and i feel bored with my looks.  I need to change it up....

2.)  Trailer Matt is gone for 2 weeks, and i miss him.  There's no one to punch, make fun of, or steal lunch money from.

3.)  I only went bombing once last weekend, and didn't get faded...cuz i was gonna try to become a respectable classy bitch.  It's boring, don't do it.  It's better to let lose and get shitfaced.  Fuck yeah!




I should go clubbing or something.  I feel so BORED OUTTA MY MIND!  LET'S GO!

"Juelz.....i dont use condoms.........i just use crisco....thas all the prohtection you need...."

                                                                                         - Hutch



EwWWWwwwWwWwWWWwwWwwww..........

everyone is going to watch the sweet sixteen, and i dont know what to do with my evening and my rife.

*  the FNG  is going to Greenhouse to look for asian car import models.  (he hangs in Jay-Z crowd.)  (i hate girls that are like the asian car import style and walk next to dante ross....it makes me embarressed)

*  The resident Trailer dude is going to some $1 beer bar in Willy B....with his tight couderoy pants

*  Tara the Riviera is going to hang with her sorority sistas and do blow job shots at Brother Jimmys...

*  Nemer just left without saying bye....

*  Hutch is waiting on some slut to come over....

*  The Chode is gonna go buy more Hummus and carrots at C-Town

AND ME?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!   I HAVE NO PRANS!    Today all day....i kept checking my phone to see if i got any missed calls and text messages..........but Nope.  Nothing on my screen.  And Trailer Matt just lauged in my face, making me feel unpopular.   Can you believe that little loser tried to make me feel insecure?

He's a loser.  TRAILER MATT....YOU ARE THE LOSER OF LOSERS...AND NO, YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO BOOM BOOM ME, EVEN IF I WAS BLIND, DEAF, AND MUTE.

IM GOING TO EAT SOUL FOOD BY MYSELF AGAIN.  like i did in atlanta this weekend.

SWEET SIXTEEN IS OVERRATED....AND IT CAN JUST SUCK IT!


* FNG = Fucking New Guy

"I _____Julie S. Lee______ hereby solemnly promise to myself that i will abstain from the temptations of alcohol.  Even though I love having fun, getting tipsy, and even straight shitfaced, and seeing cute guys with drunken goggles......I rearize there has to be more to life than getting wasted every weekend.  (Actually in new york city, there's not)  But, nevertheless.....i'm gonna get my priorities straight (whatever they are), and i guess ill try to stay at home on friday and saturday nights and watch Law and Order and read a book.  (i hate reading).  I am officially saying buhbye to Cranberry Vodka, Pineapple Vodka, Strawberry Margarita, and my favorite......Mr. Patron......let my boring life begin."


_____Julie Lee_________
Electronic Signature


___March 20, 2011______
Date

LETS GET IRISH

"Man, i never celebrated St Patricks day, thas some white boy shit."

                                       - Dre

hahaha, my boss is funny.   except when i don't call Steve from next.    :(



WHO WANTS TO GO BOMBING?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

how could you not listen to this song, and think this man is amazing x 10,000.  and i normally don't even like music.  but the more i heard this song, i was like,......"dayam, THIS FOO AiiiiiiiiiiiTE!"

and after i heard even more songs.....i was like......."dayyyyyyammmmmm.....THIS FOO IS AMAZINGNESS."

yummy goody amazingness. 

im having concentration issues lately.  i dunno where you are, but here in new york city....we have been walking around in sleeping bags to keep warm...and this friday is supposed to finarry be in the 70's!   im defintely gonna wear something slutty.  








i love spring in new york.  it makes you wanna fall in love, and all sorts of cheesy shit.  like buy a bike with a basket in the front, and put flowers in it.   i've always wanted to do that.  maybe i should invest in a vespa now that i live in the city.

CAN'T WAIT FOR SPRING AND SUMMER!!!  LONG BEACH, SURF LESSONS, VOLLEBALL, MINI SKIRTS, TANK TOPS, PINKBERRY AND GELATOS, SUNGLASSES, HOT DOGS, CONEY ISLAND...............and COSTCO AMOUNTS OF PATRON......

: : : : : : : : BRING THE PAIN : : : : : : : : :

DUDE!  DID YOU KNOW ALL DIRTY BROKEASS LOOKING HIPSTERS ARE ACTURRY RICH TRUST FUND BABIES?!


NOW THAS SOME BUHLSHIT.


ITS LIKE GOING BACKWARDS IN LIFE.  BORN RICH, BUT TRY TO FRONT LIKE YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO TAKE A SHOWER.  AS BOBBY WOULD SAY, "FUCK OUTTA HERE."


US NORMAL PEOPLE, WE HAVE A SAYING, "FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT." AT LEAST TRAILER MATT KEEPS IT REAL.  HE'S A REAL HIPSTER.  HE'S AT THE $0.99 PIZZA JOINT EVERYDAY CUZ HE ACTURRY BWOKE.

hi
i havn't updated this glob in eonz.

alot has happened to me since last time i was on here. 

like.............

...........likeeeeeee......................um.......well..............

                      ......well.......you know................the...same ol..................

B - O - M - B - I - N - G

i told the pastor's wife on sunday that lately it's all im rearry good at.  just working and drinking.  drinking and working....and then drinking and drinking.  i graduated from my usual pineapple vodkas, and went straight to the patron. 

friday was one of the funnest nights of my entire rife.  all i know, is that when i rooked at that crock, it was 4:39am.  Thas a world record for me.  When i woke up next morning 11:31am, looked in that mirror, lipstick smeared, eye makeup smeared, hair in a birds nest, skirt all shifted around......and a monster headache.  HOW IS IT THAT POSSIBLE TO HAVE THAT MUCH FUN?!?!?!?    I REARRY DON'T KNOW, BUT IT IS TRURY POSSIBLE.

So it all started with Tara the Riviera during Friday at work.  We were both stressed from chasing orders for our difficurt bosses all week, and all we wanted to do was bomb like donkey kongs.  soooo....we were off to esquina.  man, i rolled up to that door, intimidated as can be....all these pretty girls lined up and ready to walk in, were being straight rejected at the door.  and i thought to myself, "oh man, if these woman, so hipster, so cool, so tall can't get in......i'm gonna be fuh sho rejected like a Trailer Matt."  but you know what, my homegirl told me to quit my insecurity and walk up to that bitch like i was a SOMEBODY.  My first word to the doorman, "Ummm............Hi."


and i got scared.  wondered if i should just walk away.....


then he took one look at my jacket...and goes, "Oh how could i forget you and your Prada Jacket!"  (and it ain't even prada).  Then he whispered to his walkie talkie he was sending 2 down.  

AM I AMAZING, OR AM I AMAZING?!  NOT EVEN A SOCIALITE.  AND I SLEEP WITH MY SOCKS ON.  Don't need to say a word, but "Hi".  Like Little Julius getting into Strokers.




so that was it.  that was the jumpoff.  after that...the rest of the night is a blur, cuz i all i know is that by the time TJ walked in...she was wasted on whisky....and i was buying everyone and their mother a shot of that yummy Patron goodness.  Then.....we got bored.  So we walked over to Gold Bar.......but Bobby Massey bursted my bubble by telling me that Gold Bar is for rookies and ppl like Trailer Matt on Fridays, so we were off.  Then we walked over to kenmare...and rest of the night is a blur, cuz all i remember was hearing music and dancing my little korean feet away all night long. 


WHY IS HAVING FUN SO MUCH FUN?  I LOVE HAVING FUN!




im so thankful that I have friends like TJ who inspire me to work hard, and use my leftover money on booze.  F* chanel bags!  we wanna have FUUUUUUUUNNNNN....

I FEEL FREAKIN' FANTASTIC TODAY!   NORMALLY I FEEL LIKE LIFE SUCKS ASS.

BUT FOR SOME REASON I AM IN SUCH A GREAT MOOD THIS MORNING!  AND I DIDNT EVEN NEED ALCHOHOL, OR WEED, OR COCAINE TO FEEL THIS WAY!   I JUST WOKE UP, SAW BLUE SKIES, AND SUN, AND HAD A CUP OF COFFEE, AND REARIZED THAT I LOVE LIFE AND MY FAMILY!!!!

YEAH!    LETS GO BOMBING TONITE AND CELEBRATE THE GOOD LIFE!


DRINKS ON BOBBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 



update....Tara the Riviera bruised her tailbone snowboarding last week, so she needs to sit on donuts.  BOBBY, BRING THE WOMAN A FREAKIN' BLOW UP DONUT WON'T YOU!!!!!

herro - guuuuuuuh mohnin.......  herro - guuuuuuuuuh mohnin!

this past weekend was beyond amazing.  it was fun after fun, after booze, after fun, after booze after fun.

i did all this in the past weekend:  went to maxfish, went to rosarios, went to bobs, ended up at NoodleTown, made Steak and Shrimp tacos from scratch, went to ferraras, bought my first bottle of white wine, went snowboarding, ate southern food at chat and chew, celebrated dre's birthday at soulfood restuarant Melbas, learned how to do the Dougie, and went back to maxfish.  WHY IS LIFE SO FUN AND AMAZING?   AND WHY AM I SO GOOD AT CONSUMING CALORIES? 

NeWaYz, the cherry on top was definitely snowboarding.  normally i don't like to go with beginners cuz they all suck, and i ain't wait for nobody, but since these peeps are my homies, my heart softened.  bobby showed up too and he was donezo after the first run, but i forced him to go through Hellgate (double black d's), and he overcame his fear of heights and steep runs.  here are some pics:

Yeahhhhhhh kid, here's cutie Pammy getting ready to shred.....

And there she goes, helmet on....concentrating on her moves......

but then...."woahhh.....ooohhh noo....."  she feels a bit unbalanced....not sure what to do...

and there she goes......"TIMBERRRR"   mumbling to herself, "oohhhhh, ouchiee.......ugh....hellllp me."

Tara and Bobby were drinking whisky between their runs

Bobby lookin pro at the bar, (but not on the slopes)

Cutie snow bunnies....

Tara the Riveria....a natural...she was good!

so much fun.  im going back before the season ends. 
btw....last nite at Dre's dinner, they were playing soul music at the soulfood restaurant, and my coworkers taught me how to do the DOUGIE.  did you even know there was such a thing?  i first discovered it last nite.  so i practiced this morning in the shower.......and at work......

 I LOVE THIS FONT CUZ IT'S HUGE!  HUNDREDS IS HUGE! 

THIS SUNDAY IS GOING TO BE AMAZING x 10,000.   I AM GOING SNOWBOARDING WITH ALL MY HOMIES. 

BOBBY IS BRINGING THE WHISKY AND WEED.  

THIS IS WHAT BOBBY SAID TO PAMMY BOUT SUNDAY:

FOR ONCE, I AGREE WITH BOUCHE.  WHEN IT COMES TO SNOWBOARDING, I AIN'T WAITIN FOR NOBODY.   STRAIGHT SELFISH.

 
 

boring day

world
today i cheated on my vegas diet.  i ate sooshi for lunch, and it was amazing.  so to make up for it, i have to eat water for dinner.  what else hppn today...................................

.............................ughhhhhhhhh.....................................

.....................ummmm.....................welllll..................you know..........


...............okay..............................


......................................nothing.






ACTURRY, I MET A GOOD LOOKING MAN TODAY!  THAT WAS THE HIGHLIGHT.  one my accounts complained that i never been to his new store, so i grabbed Gummo and dragged him to Flight Club with me.  It was 10 degrees, and my outfit was wack.  Normally i am superficial and make sure my outfit is cute, but this week i looked like a homeless woman.

anyways, so me and gummo walk into this humongous gigantic sneaker stadium.  it's all fancy, and everyone looked extreme.  their sneakers match their t-shirts, that match their laces, that match their hats, that match their jackets, that match their watches, that match their hairdos.  i was clearly out of place.  normally people act like there are too cool, too downtown for everyone else, but boy i tell you, i walked into that bitch like i was a VIP HOMELESS WOMAN.  i demanded to be let downstairs to meet the dude behind all my work emails.  and sho nuff'.......those foolios believed me.  I didn't wanna leave Gummo out in the cold, and acted like he was VIP Trailer Man.  They let him down too.

As soon as i walked into the basement, headed to the back office, this skinny chinese dude greets me.  i thought this foo was whatever, and just tried to keep it business, and talk about work stuff......but then this foo stood up and i noticed he was like 6 feet tall and i thought to myself, "DAYAMMMMM THIS FOOOOO AIIIIIIIIIIIITE!"  he had on RRL jeans, some hipstar scarf (ew), and long hair in a ponytail.  normally this foo is not my type, but the more i was talking to him, he strait blossomed.  AND YOU KNOW WHAT, I FREAKIN' HATE TATOOS, EW...........THEY KINDA DIRTY, BUT ALL THE WOMEN LOVE MEN WITH TATOOS, and this foooool.........he had maaaaaaaad tatoos.  all chinese lookin' tats.  WHAT IF HE IS THE LEADER OF TRIADS?!!!!!  ooooooooo.....thats hot.


so when i got back to the office i told leah and tara, and we were all happy and excited.  so we googled him.  just like a too cool for school guy, nothing came up.  so i emailed him and asked if he had a facebook account.  haven't heard back.  but weird thing is that if he tells me yes, i don't have a facebook account.  so now ill just look wack to him.

anyways, im sick of cold calling.  here are some work fotos from today:

best way to start the day.......

when i was peon little girl, my parents made me take art lessons in dallas.  my mom enjoyed watching me draw because i enjoyed it very much.

eh.......now im older and jaded and sit next to gummo in an office.........

GUMMO CAUGHT FEELINGS IN THE OFFICE.....

WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT VEGAS

I AM ON A STRICT SOUP DIET.  (AND THAT'S NON-CREAM BASED SOUP FOH YOU!)
GONNA TRY TO TRIM THINGS UP,  AND HOPEFULLY MY MUFFIN TOP WILL BE GONE BY SATURDAY!

AND I DON'T KNOW ABOUT DRE HAYES.............BUT ME, TARA, AND LEAH..........WE AIN'T GOING TO MEET BUYERS, WE GOING TO FIND SOME HOT ASS MEN AND WORK THE FIELD.











just kiddddddddddddddddddddddddding ARI!  don't fire me!  acturry, i don't have any game, and im scared of talking to good looking men.  once i went to a bar with leah, and she told me to go say hi to a guy, and i got scared and wanted her to hold my hand.  she almost punched me in the face.




do you think Adam will be there?  i hope i get beer goggles and see that foo again.  last time i remember....i was drunk, and he was cute, and that's allllll that mattered in my little world.  perhaps we should bring that box of magnums in the office?!  siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike.   dang, i sound like Antwain.  i need to stop hanging around him.


SOUP SOUP SOUP SOUP SOUP SOUP SOUP SOUP SOUP SOUP SOUP SOUP SOUP

I LOVE HAVING FUN

i reararized that i forgot to grob about my past weekend.  all that fun, and nothing to back it up.  but before i exprain my weekend, lemme exprain a rittle bit bout my Atlanta trip with Antwain.  I did something that kinda got me in trouble from him.

Hutch was driving Dre to the airport, and me and little Julius were sitting in the backseat like little kids.  Dre gets out of shotgun, and i say, "BYE!"  After the door closed, neither Julius nor I got out of our seats.  We are all buckled up, nice and cozy, and it gets silent for 10 seconds with Hutch staring at our faces.

Then Hutch goes, "OH HEYALL NO, I AIN'T YO CHAUFFER, YOU BETTER COME SIT UP IN THE FRONT."

So i get out of the back and move to shotgun.  As soon as i got in, i was so tired from traveling with Hutch, and luggin bags around, so it occurred to me to take a nap.  I immediately reclined my seat as far as it would go, to the point that the headrest was touching the backseat.  And you know what, cuz im short, my legs fit perfectly straight onto the dashboard.  So i had my sequinsed Chuck Taylors, chillin on the dashboard, body perfectly reclined in nap mode.  And cuz Hutch was playing that "Black and Yellow" Atlanta hip hop so loud, I gently turned down the volume knob.

APPARENTLY, I HAD JUST BROKEN 3 RULES IN A BLACK MAN'S VEHICLE.  i didn't think i did anything wrong, and at end of day we are all Family up in this mug.....but, ACTURRY NOT!

Hutch turned his head, gave me the death stare towards my puppy eyes, and said......

"OH WHAT IN THE HEYALLLL........OH HEYALLL NO.  JULIE, YOU NEVER EVER EVVVVVVVVVVVER, TOUCH A BLACK MAN'S RADIO STATION, AND NEVER EVER EVER EVVVVVVVVER PUT YOUR FEET ON A BLACK MAN'S DASHBOARD.  EVER!"

That day, was a lesson learned for me.  I rearized, even though i try to act black sometimes, and a little gangster, i really am not.  But i wanna be!  So i can be a Basketball Wife someday like Shaunie, Evelyn, and Kendra!!!!


ok, now im too tired to exprain my weekend of fun, but here are photos:

 I LOVE HAVING FUN!  IT'S SO FUN!!!

trailer matt - new beginnings

hi world
i dont think i told you this yet, but dre had this amazing idea to give away my action sports accounts to Trailer Matt.  so this dude went from a peon intern, to peon sales assistant, to now an official peon rep.  WORLD........IF THERE IS HOPE FOR A GUY LIKE TRAILER MATT, THERE IS CERTAINLY HOPE FOR YOU.  this kid came from the boonies of north dakota, and in 2 short years, he reached for the skies. 

neWaYz.......since trailer Matt has gotten this little promotion, we call him Gummo now.  cuz Nemer even promoted his name.

so now matt has a way with words towards me now.

Exzibit A.......in Gummo's pompous attitude:

 Exzibit B.......in Gummo's pompous attitude:

OUR LITTLE GUMMO.......ALL GROWN UP NOW.    ANDDDDDD.........i forgot to add that Gummo told us yesterday that he is officially not the resident 40 year old virgin anymore.  he officially SMUSHED!  and in his words, "i couldn't show up on friday cuz i got laid with a grenade."    

10:19 am

ohmigosh i had so much fun this weekend theres so much to update but right now i have tonz of work to do, which i need to do asap, cuz i don't wanna get in trouble from dre this week.  :(  but honestly, my hands are so figidity and i can't concentrate cuz i made coffee with my roomie's new espresso coffee, but i put like 10 scoops cuz i didn't know it would be this strong, and now it's like im on lsd and trying to work.  blahhhhhhhhHHHHH!

can't wait to update bout my weekend.  dude, i even went out last night right after i got out of church.  i love having fun!  it's so fun!

im gonna go drink 10 cups of water now to dilute those 10 scoops of espresso grind.

STROKERS

last night Hutch, intern Orange Julius (Jordan), Bobby Bouche, and 10 deep associate tried to convince me to go to magic city.  i chickened out for 2 reasons:  1.)  i never been to a strip club in my life  2.)  the girls in atlanta get complete bootie naked, and i would be really grossed out.  so, in my absence Hutch is going to report last's night expedition.....

"First we decided to take a little adventure, "Operation Little Julius' first strip club."  If you in Atlanta, and you're gonna go to your first strip club, it's gotta be magic city.  But after planning and going all the way to Magic, damn Magic was CLOSED.  And then they froze Bouche's account we went to 8 atm's which none of em' were working.  then we called the bank to unfreeze his account, it was like National Lampoons Vacation.  Imagine getting all the way to Wally World and then it's closed.  We started panicking and everyone started pulling out their phones and researching strip clubs.  First we went pass Goose Bumps, and that was closed.  And then we called my boy down here and he said everything was closed on sunday nights.  But he said 1 spot that might be open, cuz it's not downtown, was good ol' STROKERS.  we even thought about going to Nemer's spot, Pink Pony, but we thought Strokers was more appropropriate for Jordan. 

The next part of the plan was HOW DO WE GET JORDAN INTO THE CLUB (he's only 12 years old).  we started looking for a costume store to get him a fake mustache.  When we finally found STROKERS, after our journey across ATL, we noticed there was a cop right in front of the building.  So we had a plan to send first Bouche, then Jordan, then 10 Deep associate,  and then me (Hutch).  Immediately when they told Bouche that he could smoke inside, we knew our chances of Jordan getting in was high.  So when we got in, it was $10 cover, with 60 girls in there.  We noticed right away,  "THIS AIN'T NO MAGIC CITY."  So we thought it was gonna be a desolate night, and everyone got a drink.  We scattered about, and 10 Deep associate just disappeared for rest of the night, and nobody saw him again. 

Jordan act like he was in the Dusk Till Dawn movie.  I couldn't tell if he was happy, overwhelmed or frightened.  Eventually we went to the table, and start figuring out the game plan.  I asked Jordan, "You seen anything you like?"  Jordan goes, "i dunno, alot of these girls are looking old."  I said, "All these girls looking older, cuz you only 12 years old."  2 minutes later, I seen this fine little cutesy thang walking in the back, tiny frame, curvey, pretty little face, and i thought that's Jordan's one.  She went to the bar and I caught the eye contact and told her to come to the table.  Even though she wanted me, i took one for the team.  I told her, "i need you to dance for my uncle, uncle jordan."  She introduced herself to Jordan, and we could all tell that Jordan was interested, whatever she wanted to do, Jordan was down.  The girl takes off her bathing suit, and she started dancing in front of jordan, and then i started makin it rain.  So Jordan tried to play cool and calm, and then that little cute thang just bent down in front of Jordan, and then that fool was catatonic.  so me and bouche started lookin at jordan and gave him eye tests, but he ain't notice us cuz he had tunnel vision and strait frozen.  thats when we knew, Jordan was "striperized."  and we could finally say, "welcome to manhood." 

that girl had jordan attention for the rest of the night, until she went on stage to dance.  AND STILL NO SIGN OF 10 DEEP ASSOCIATE.  who by now, probably got married.  so jordans girl is on stage, dancing, and thats when i knew i had to give jordan the "stripper jewels of life."  i told him to tip her on stage.  off jordan went, he placed $1 on the stage, and the girl did a little dance, and then jordan place another $1 on stage, and she did another little dance.  this went on for $12 or 2 songs, whatever came first.  as we seen little jordan's girl working on stage, aka The Appetizer.......Out comes the Main Entree.  And everybody in that club knew (but her) that she was for me.  I knew it was my time to give her the opportunity to know me.  I walk to the stage, unlike Jordan, i just took out a couple bucks, while she was on her back, and i just placed the bucks on her stomach, gave her a nod, and she knew what that meant.  meanwhile every cigarette burn, bullet wound, scar and scab stripper was coming up to Bouche, one after another.  We didn't see Bouche get a dance, but well smoked a whole pack of newports.  finally one girl danced, and we told her that he didn't speak good engrish.  still no sign of 10 deep associate.  then we looked at jordan and he look like he lost his first puppy, sad, and bout to cry, getting bad.  where was the little appetizer?  she was no where to be found.  thats when i knew i had to put out an APV.  while im waiting, the Main Entree comes right up on me, and started de-robing and Bouche grew an afro right on the spot.  When that girl took off her clothes, everybody in that club was frozen.  But she stayed with me, cuz the money i was giving her, i almost put her through college.  all good cuz she gave me her digits.  still no sign sign of 10 deep associate.  meanwhile, 3 of 4 nice strippers came up to jordan and asked for a dance, and he emphatically said "NO" everytime.  a little tear started trickling down, and then i seen the Appetizer coming out, i knew it was on like popcorn.  she stayed with jordan the rest of the night, and they exchanged pleasantries.  she said she wanted to come home with Jordan and we were all jealous.  all of a sudden 10 deep associate pops up and all he says is, "i gotta go to the ATM."  he disappeared out the club. 

10 minutes later, the club was bout to get crazy, cuz in walks Jordan's biological father, "Gucci Mane."  We all saw Gucci, and we knew the night was bout over, cuz he was gonna take out the money and take all the girls.  Gucci took out plastic gallon sized sandwich bags filled with $1 stacks.  When he took his first stack, he didn't make it rain, he made it blizzard. 

that's when we decided we got to go, cuz gucci mane was gonna make us look bad.  we headed back to the hotel, all of us jealous of Jordan.  he was waiting for the woman of his dreams. 

it was a good night.


"All i gotta say is.....STROKERS...."  -Jordan aka Orange Julius

"Cover....$10.        
  Drinks.....$7
  Lapdance....$10
  Jordan's first stripclub......priceless."    - Hutch

"I think i just got pink eye."   -Bouche

"They made it rain last night...............................i was in the back"  -10 Deep associate

guest blogger

Herro World,

This is guest blogger, Orange Julius, bringing the scoop to the world that Julie is officially black. While trying to hail a cab, with 12 heavy bags, on the busy streets of NY. Julie stands on the corner and stretches her arm out and stops a cab short. She opens the door and a all of a sudden 2 white women run up on her and start screaming at her trying to intimidate her to get out of the cab. In my mind I think Julie is gonna punk out but boy was I WRONG. Deep down Julie is a GANGSTA!!!! All i hear is "OHHHHH HELLL NOOOO!! JULIUS THROW THEM BAGS IN THE TRUNK, LUCIAN WHERES ERIC, WEE OUTT OF HERE!!". With that Julie left those 2 ladies with a blank look on their faces (I think she smacked one too) and slams the door. Those ladies were left to hail another cab and left to really think about who they messed with THE REAL JUELZ!!!!!! A collard green and fried chicken eating black KOREAN.

work life

hi world

do you know why i haven't updated my glob for a minute?

here's why.  after my barney's appointment, when i was lugging my samples down 5th avenue with dre beside me, he goes, "We bout to take G-Shock out.  IF YOU ALIVE AND BREATHING, YO ASS GONNA BE WEARING A G-SHOCK."

sooooooooooooooooooo.........you cant imagine the demands of work life at foundration. this is my life right now:

                                     

 

 

 

 

YOU FEEL ME?  ain't no clubbing in those photos, ain't no dating in those photos, ain't no church in those photos, and there sure as hell ain't no boom boom shaka laka.

i am going to atlanta 7am tomorrow morning to a hood show called Cobb.  Hutch wants to take me to magic city and pink pony.  im scared to go.

all i want is to meet Nene.



okie, back to workie!