last night Hutch, intern Orange Julius (Jordan), Bobby Bouche, and 10 deep associate tried to convince me to go to magic city. i chickened out for 2 reasons: 1.) i never been to a strip club in my life 2.) the girls in atlanta get complete bootie naked, and i would be really grossed out. so, in my absence Hutch is going to report last's night expedition.....
"First we decided to take a little adventure, "Operation Little Julius' first strip club." If you in Atlanta, and you're gonna go to your first strip club, it's gotta be magic city. But after planning and going all the way to Magic, damn Magic was CLOSED. And then they froze Bouche's account we went to 8 atm's which none of em' were working. then we called the bank to unfreeze his account, it was like National Lampoons Vacation. Imagine getting all the way to Wally World and then it's closed. We started panicking and everyone started pulling out their phones and researching strip clubs. First we went pass Goose Bumps, and that was closed. And then we called my boy down here and he said everything was closed on sunday nights. But he said 1 spot that might be open, cuz it's not downtown, was good ol' STROKERS. we even thought about going to Nemer's spot, Pink Pony, but we thought Strokers was more appropropriate for Jordan.
The next part of the plan was HOW DO WE GET JORDAN INTO THE CLUB (he's only 12 years old). we started looking for a costume store to get him a fake mustache. When we finally found STROKERS, after our journey across ATL, we noticed there was a cop right in front of the building. So we had a plan to send first Bouche, then Jordan, then 10 Deep associate, and then me (Hutch). Immediately when they told Bouche that he could smoke inside, we knew our chances of Jordan getting in was high. So when we got in, it was $10 cover, with 60 girls in there. We noticed right away, "THIS AIN'T NO MAGIC CITY." So we thought it was gonna be a desolate night, and everyone got a drink. We scattered about, and 10 Deep associate just disappeared for rest of the night, and nobody saw him again.
Jordan act like he was in the Dusk Till Dawn movie. I couldn't tell if he was happy, overwhelmed or frightened. Eventually we went to the table, and start figuring out the game plan. I asked Jordan, "You seen anything you like?" Jordan goes, "i dunno, alot of these girls are looking old." I said, "All these girls looking older, cuz you only 12 years old." 2 minutes later, I seen this fine little cutesy thang walking in the back, tiny frame, curvey, pretty little face, and i thought that's Jordan's one. She went to the bar and I caught the eye contact and told her to come to the table. Even though she wanted me, i took one for the team. I told her, "i need you to dance for my uncle, uncle jordan." She introduced herself to Jordan, and we could all tell that Jordan was interested, whatever she wanted to do, Jordan was down. The girl takes off her bathing suit, and she started dancing in front of jordan, and then i started makin it rain. So Jordan tried to play cool and calm, and then that little cute thang just bent down in front of Jordan, and then that fool was catatonic. so me and bouche started lookin at jordan and gave him eye tests, but he ain't notice us cuz he had tunnel vision and strait frozen. thats when we knew, Jordan was "striperized." and we could finally say, "welcome to manhood."
that girl had jordan attention for the rest of the night, until she went on stage to dance. AND STILL NO SIGN OF 10 DEEP ASSOCIATE. who by now, probably got married. so jordans girl is on stage, dancing, and thats when i knew i had to give jordan the "stripper jewels of life." i told him to tip her on stage. off jordan went, he placed $1 on the stage, and the girl did a little dance, and then jordan place another $1 on stage, and she did another little dance. this went on for $12 or 2 songs, whatever came first. as we seen little jordan's girl working on stage, aka The Appetizer.......Out comes the Main Entree. And everybody in that club knew (but her) that she was for me. I knew it was my time to give her the opportunity to know me. I walk to the stage, unlike Jordan, i just took out a couple bucks, while she was on her back, and i just placed the bucks on her stomach, gave her a nod, and she knew what that meant. meanwhile every cigarette burn, bullet wound, scar and scab stripper was coming up to Bouche, one after another. We didn't see Bouche get a dance, but well smoked a whole pack of newports. finally one girl danced, and we told her that he didn't speak good engrish. still no sign of 10 deep associate. then we looked at jordan and he look like he lost his first puppy, sad, and bout to cry, getting bad. where was the little appetizer? she was no where to be found. thats when i knew i had to put out an APV. while im waiting, the Main Entree comes right up on me, and started de-robing and Bouche grew an afro right on the spot. When that girl took off her clothes, everybody in that club was frozen. But she stayed with me, cuz the money i was giving her, i almost put her through college. all good cuz she gave me her digits. still no sign sign of 10 deep associate. meanwhile, 3 of 4 nice strippers came up to jordan and asked for a dance, and he emphatically said "NO" everytime. a little tear started trickling down, and then i seen the Appetizer coming out, i knew it was on like popcorn. she stayed with jordan the rest of the night, and they exchanged pleasantries. she said she wanted to come home with Jordan and we were all jealous. all of a sudden 10 deep associate pops up and all he says is, "i gotta go to the ATM." he disappeared out the club.
10 minutes later, the club was bout to get crazy, cuz in walks Jordan's biological father, "Gucci Mane." We all saw Gucci, and we knew the night was bout over, cuz he was gonna take out the money and take all the girls. Gucci took out plastic gallon sized sandwich bags filled with $1 stacks. When he took his first stack, he didn't make it rain, he made it blizzard.
that's when we decided we got to go, cuz gucci mane was gonna make us look bad. we headed back to the hotel, all of us jealous of Jordan. he was waiting for the woman of his dreams.
it was a good night.
"All i gotta say is.....STROKERS...." -Jordan aka Orange Julius
"Cover....$10.
Drinks.....$7
Lapdance....$10
Jordan's first stripclub......priceless." - Hutch
"I think i just got pink eye." -Bouche
"They made it rain last night...............................i was in the back" -10 Deep associate
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