ohmigosh i had so much fun this weekend theres so much to update but right now i have tonz of work to do, which i need to do asap, cuz i don't wanna get in trouble from dre this week. :( but honestly, my hands are so figidity and i can't concentrate cuz i made coffee with my roomie's new espresso coffee, but i put like 10 scoops cuz i didn't know it would be this strong, and now it's like im on lsd and trying to work. blahhhhhhhhHHHHH!
can't wait to update bout my weekend. dude, i even went out last night right after i got out of church. i love having fun! it's so fun!
im gonna go drink 10 cups of water now to dilute those 10 scoops of espresso grind.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
STROKERS
last night Hutch, intern Orange Julius (Jordan), Bobby Bouche, and 10 deep associate tried to convince me to go to magic city. i chickened out for 2 reasons: 1.) i never been to a strip club in my life 2.) the girls in atlanta get complete bootie naked, and i would be really grossed out. so, in my absence Hutch is going to report last's night expedition.....
"First we decided to take a little adventure, "Operation Little Julius' first strip club." If you in Atlanta, and you're gonna go to your first strip club, it's gotta be magic city. But after planning and going all the way to Magic, damn Magic was CLOSED. And then they froze Bouche's account we went to 8 atm's which none of em' were working. then we called the bank to unfreeze his account, it was like National Lampoons Vacation. Imagine getting all the way to Wally World and then it's closed. We started panicking and everyone started pulling out their phones and researching strip clubs. First we went pass Goose Bumps, and that was closed. And then we called my boy down here and he said everything was closed on sunday nights. But he said 1 spot that might be open, cuz it's not downtown, was good ol' STROKERS. we even thought about going to Nemer's spot, Pink Pony, but we thought Strokers was more appropropriate for Jordan.
The next part of the plan was HOW DO WE GET JORDAN INTO THE CLUB (he's only 12 years old). we started looking for a costume store to get him a fake mustache. When we finally found STROKERS, after our journey across ATL, we noticed there was a cop right in front of the building. So we had a plan to send first Bouche, then Jordan, then 10 Deep associate, and then me (Hutch). Immediately when they told Bouche that he could smoke inside, we knew our chances of Jordan getting in was high. So when we got in, it was $10 cover, with 60 girls in there. We noticed right away, "THIS AIN'T NO MAGIC CITY." So we thought it was gonna be a desolate night, and everyone got a drink. We scattered about, and 10 Deep associate just disappeared for rest of the night, and nobody saw him again.
Jordan act like he was in the Dusk Till Dawn movie. I couldn't tell if he was happy, overwhelmed or frightened. Eventually we went to the table, and start figuring out the game plan. I asked Jordan, "You seen anything you like?" Jordan goes, "i dunno, alot of these girls are looking old." I said, "All these girls looking older, cuz you only 12 years old." 2 minutes later, I seen this fine little cutesy thang walking in the back, tiny frame, curvey, pretty little face, and i thought that's Jordan's one. She went to the bar and I caught the eye contact and told her to come to the table. Even though she wanted me, i took one for the team. I told her, "i need you to dance for my uncle, uncle jordan." She introduced herself to Jordan, and we could all tell that Jordan was interested, whatever she wanted to do, Jordan was down. The girl takes off her bathing suit, and she started dancing in front of jordan, and then i started makin it rain. So Jordan tried to play cool and calm, and then that little cute thang just bent down in front of Jordan, and then that fool was catatonic. so me and bouche started lookin at jordan and gave him eye tests, but he ain't notice us cuz he had tunnel vision and strait frozen. thats when we knew, Jordan was "striperized." and we could finally say, "welcome to manhood."
that girl had jordan attention for the rest of the night, until she went on stage to dance. AND STILL NO SIGN OF 10 DEEP ASSOCIATE. who by now, probably got married. so jordans girl is on stage, dancing, and thats when i knew i had to give jordan the "stripper jewels of life." i told him to tip her on stage. off jordan went, he placed $1 on the stage, and the girl did a little dance, and then jordan place another $1 on stage, and she did another little dance. this went on for $12 or 2 songs, whatever came first. as we seen little jordan's girl working on stage, aka The Appetizer.......Out comes the Main Entree. And everybody in that club knew (but her) that she was for me. I knew it was my time to give her the opportunity to know me. I walk to the stage, unlike Jordan, i just took out a couple bucks, while she was on her back, and i just placed the bucks on her stomach, gave her a nod, and she knew what that meant. meanwhile every cigarette burn, bullet wound, scar and scab stripper was coming up to Bouche, one after another. We didn't see Bouche get a dance, but well smoked a whole pack of newports. finally one girl danced, and we told her that he didn't speak good engrish. still no sign of 10 deep associate. then we looked at jordan and he look like he lost his first puppy, sad, and bout to cry, getting bad. where was the little appetizer? she was no where to be found. thats when i knew i had to put out an APV. while im waiting, the Main Entree comes right up on me, and started de-robing and Bouche grew an afro right on the spot. When that girl took off her clothes, everybody in that club was frozen. But she stayed with me, cuz the money i was giving her, i almost put her through college. all good cuz she gave me her digits. still no sign sign of 10 deep associate. meanwhile, 3 of 4 nice strippers came up to jordan and asked for a dance, and he emphatically said "NO" everytime. a little tear started trickling down, and then i seen the Appetizer coming out, i knew it was on like popcorn. she stayed with jordan the rest of the night, and they exchanged pleasantries. she said she wanted to come home with Jordan and we were all jealous. all of a sudden 10 deep associate pops up and all he says is, "i gotta go to the ATM." he disappeared out the club.
10 minutes later, the club was bout to get crazy, cuz in walks Jordan's biological father, "Gucci Mane." We all saw Gucci, and we knew the night was bout over, cuz he was gonna take out the money and take all the girls. Gucci took out plastic gallon sized sandwich bags filled with $1 stacks. When he took his first stack, he didn't make it rain, he made it blizzard.
that's when we decided we got to go, cuz gucci mane was gonna make us look bad. we headed back to the hotel, all of us jealous of Jordan. he was waiting for the woman of his dreams.
it was a good night.
"All i gotta say is.....STROKERS...." -Jordan aka Orange Julius
"Cover....$10.
Drinks.....$7
Lapdance....$10
Jordan's first stripclub......priceless." - Hutch
"I think i just got pink eye." -Bouche
"They made it rain last night...............................i was in the back" -10 Deep associate
"First we decided to take a little adventure, "Operation Little Julius' first strip club." If you in Atlanta, and you're gonna go to your first strip club, it's gotta be magic city. But after planning and going all the way to Magic, damn Magic was CLOSED. And then they froze Bouche's account we went to 8 atm's which none of em' were working. then we called the bank to unfreeze his account, it was like National Lampoons Vacation. Imagine getting all the way to Wally World and then it's closed. We started panicking and everyone started pulling out their phones and researching strip clubs. First we went pass Goose Bumps, and that was closed. And then we called my boy down here and he said everything was closed on sunday nights. But he said 1 spot that might be open, cuz it's not downtown, was good ol' STROKERS. we even thought about going to Nemer's spot, Pink Pony, but we thought Strokers was more appropropriate for Jordan.
The next part of the plan was HOW DO WE GET JORDAN INTO THE CLUB (he's only 12 years old). we started looking for a costume store to get him a fake mustache. When we finally found STROKERS, after our journey across ATL, we noticed there was a cop right in front of the building. So we had a plan to send first Bouche, then Jordan, then 10 Deep associate, and then me (Hutch). Immediately when they told Bouche that he could smoke inside, we knew our chances of Jordan getting in was high. So when we got in, it was $10 cover, with 60 girls in there. We noticed right away, "THIS AIN'T NO MAGIC CITY." So we thought it was gonna be a desolate night, and everyone got a drink. We scattered about, and 10 Deep associate just disappeared for rest of the night, and nobody saw him again.
Jordan act like he was in the Dusk Till Dawn movie. I couldn't tell if he was happy, overwhelmed or frightened. Eventually we went to the table, and start figuring out the game plan. I asked Jordan, "You seen anything you like?" Jordan goes, "i dunno, alot of these girls are looking old." I said, "All these girls looking older, cuz you only 12 years old." 2 minutes later, I seen this fine little cutesy thang walking in the back, tiny frame, curvey, pretty little face, and i thought that's Jordan's one. She went to the bar and I caught the eye contact and told her to come to the table. Even though she wanted me, i took one for the team. I told her, "i need you to dance for my uncle, uncle jordan." She introduced herself to Jordan, and we could all tell that Jordan was interested, whatever she wanted to do, Jordan was down. The girl takes off her bathing suit, and she started dancing in front of jordan, and then i started makin it rain. So Jordan tried to play cool and calm, and then that little cute thang just bent down in front of Jordan, and then that fool was catatonic. so me and bouche started lookin at jordan and gave him eye tests, but he ain't notice us cuz he had tunnel vision and strait frozen. thats when we knew, Jordan was "striperized." and we could finally say, "welcome to manhood."
that girl had jordan attention for the rest of the night, until she went on stage to dance. AND STILL NO SIGN OF 10 DEEP ASSOCIATE. who by now, probably got married. so jordans girl is on stage, dancing, and thats when i knew i had to give jordan the "stripper jewels of life." i told him to tip her on stage. off jordan went, he placed $1 on the stage, and the girl did a little dance, and then jordan place another $1 on stage, and she did another little dance. this went on for $12 or 2 songs, whatever came first. as we seen little jordan's girl working on stage, aka The Appetizer.......Out comes the Main Entree. And everybody in that club knew (but her) that she was for me. I knew it was my time to give her the opportunity to know me. I walk to the stage, unlike Jordan, i just took out a couple bucks, while she was on her back, and i just placed the bucks on her stomach, gave her a nod, and she knew what that meant. meanwhile every cigarette burn, bullet wound, scar and scab stripper was coming up to Bouche, one after another. We didn't see Bouche get a dance, but well smoked a whole pack of newports. finally one girl danced, and we told her that he didn't speak good engrish. still no sign of 10 deep associate. then we looked at jordan and he look like he lost his first puppy, sad, and bout to cry, getting bad. where was the little appetizer? she was no where to be found. thats when i knew i had to put out an APV. while im waiting, the Main Entree comes right up on me, and started de-robing and Bouche grew an afro right on the spot. When that girl took off her clothes, everybody in that club was frozen. But she stayed with me, cuz the money i was giving her, i almost put her through college. all good cuz she gave me her digits. still no sign sign of 10 deep associate. meanwhile, 3 of 4 nice strippers came up to jordan and asked for a dance, and he emphatically said "NO" everytime. a little tear started trickling down, and then i seen the Appetizer coming out, i knew it was on like popcorn. she stayed with jordan the rest of the night, and they exchanged pleasantries. she said she wanted to come home with Jordan and we were all jealous. all of a sudden 10 deep associate pops up and all he says is, "i gotta go to the ATM." he disappeared out the club.
10 minutes later, the club was bout to get crazy, cuz in walks Jordan's biological father, "Gucci Mane." We all saw Gucci, and we knew the night was bout over, cuz he was gonna take out the money and take all the girls. Gucci took out plastic gallon sized sandwich bags filled with $1 stacks. When he took his first stack, he didn't make it rain, he made it blizzard.
that's when we decided we got to go, cuz gucci mane was gonna make us look bad. we headed back to the hotel, all of us jealous of Jordan. he was waiting for the woman of his dreams.
it was a good night.
"All i gotta say is.....STROKERS...." -Jordan aka Orange Julius
"Cover....$10.
Drinks.....$7
Lapdance....$10
Jordan's first stripclub......priceless." - Hutch
"I think i just got pink eye." -Bouche
"They made it rain last night...............................i was in the back" -10 Deep associate
Sunday, January 23, 2011
guest blogger
Herro World,
This is guest blogger, Orange Julius, bringing the scoop to the world that Julie is officially black. While trying to hail a cab, with 12 heavy bags, on the busy streets of NY. Julie stands on the corner and stretches her arm out and stops a cab short. She opens the door and a all of a sudden 2 white women run up on her and start screaming at her trying to intimidate her to get out of the cab. In my mind I think Julie is gonna punk out but boy was I WRONG. Deep down Julie is a GANGSTA!!!! All i hear is "OHHHHH HELLL NOOOO!! JULIUS THROW THEM BAGS IN THE TRUNK, LUCIAN WHERES ERIC, WEE OUTT OF HERE!!". With that Julie left those 2 ladies with a blank look on their faces (I think she smacked one too) and slams the door. Those ladies were left to hail another cab and left to really think about who they messed with THE REAL JUELZ!!!!!! A collard green and fried chicken eating black KOREAN.
Friday, January 21, 2011
work life
hi world
do you know why i haven't updated my glob for a minute?
here's why. after my barney's appointment, when i was lugging my samples down 5th avenue with dre beside me, he goes, "We bout to take G-Shock out. IF YOU ALIVE AND BREATHING, YO ASS GONNA BE WEARING A G-SHOCK."
sooooooooooooooooooo.........you cant imagine the demands of work life at foundration. this is my life right now:
YOU FEEL ME? ain't no clubbing in those photos, ain't no dating in those photos, ain't no church in those photos, and there sure as hell ain't no boom boom shaka laka.
i am going to atlanta 7am tomorrow morning to a hood show called Cobb. Hutch wants to take me to magic city and pink pony. im scared to go.
all i want is to meet Nene.
okie, back to workie!
do you know why i haven't updated my glob for a minute?
here's why. after my barney's appointment, when i was lugging my samples down 5th avenue with dre beside me, he goes, "We bout to take G-Shock out. IF YOU ALIVE AND BREATHING, YO ASS GONNA BE WEARING A G-SHOCK."
sooooooooooooooooooo.........you cant imagine the demands of work life at foundration. this is my life right now:
YOU FEEL ME? ain't no clubbing in those photos, ain't no dating in those photos, ain't no church in those photos, and there sure as hell ain't no boom boom shaka laka.
i am going to atlanta 7am tomorrow morning to a hood show called Cobb. Hutch wants to take me to magic city and pink pony. im scared to go.
all i want is to meet Nene.
okie, back to workie!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
OH HEYALL NO
dude, today i have been going back and forth with the meanest emails from the owner of a big hood online account. although i appreciate the big ass hood orders, dayam, everyone has a breaking point. this fool tried to email me and blast me in front of the owners of rp55 and my bosses.
OH HEYALL NO
this fool's emails got so long and wordy, at a certain point i didn't even know what he was talking bout. so when i was trying to respond, i actually didn't know what to say, cuz i didn't know what his point was. he used words like "didactic", and telling me "to follow directions."
OH HEYALL NO
we probably went around like in 10 emails today total, trying to figure out whos gonna pay the outstanding balance of $1500, and then finally i done past my boiling point and wrote this email,
"REALLY, SERIOUSLY.............YOU TAKE UP ALL MY TIME DURING WORK, AND I CANNOT HANDLE YOUR EMAILS. YOU HAVE THE WORDIEST AND LONGEST EMAILS, AND HONESTLY I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET A NEW WAREHOUSE MAN TO DOUBLE CHECK ALL YOUR SHIPMENTS. OKAY? CUZ AT END OF DAY YOU AIN'T NORDSTROM, YOU AIN'T BARNEYS, AND HELL....YOU AIN'T EVEN REVOLVE. SO YOU GOT 2 MINUTES BRO...."
i read my email to dre, and he said stop at my 2nd line, so i wasn't able to send it. after careful consideration with my feelings and the business side of things, dre helped me write a better email,
"i do not want to go back and forth with you in these emails. i spoke to chris today, and he mentioned that he was going to speak with you about this matter. pls speak with chris so you understand what happened, and we can find a resolution. you have all the information you need, and we want to proceed with payment so we can ship the rest of your brands. honestly, i love working with your store. besides this little inconvenience, i have a great relationship with chris and jamila, and i hope we can get past all this. good night! -julie"
DUDE, IT'S HARD BEING ME! I just need a man to find me in the streets and take care of me for the rest of my life so i dont hafta put up with all this BUUUUUHLSHIT. (pronounce the way Antwain and Real Housewives of Atlanta say it)
zang, it's almost 8pm. i feel sad that i stay this long in the office and have no life.
OH HEYALL NO
im leaving.
OH HEYALL NO
this fool's emails got so long and wordy, at a certain point i didn't even know what he was talking bout. so when i was trying to respond, i actually didn't know what to say, cuz i didn't know what his point was. he used words like "didactic", and telling me "to follow directions."
OH HEYALL NO
we probably went around like in 10 emails today total, trying to figure out whos gonna pay the outstanding balance of $1500, and then finally i done past my boiling point and wrote this email,
"REALLY, SERIOUSLY.............YOU TAKE UP ALL MY TIME DURING WORK, AND I CANNOT HANDLE YOUR EMAILS. YOU HAVE THE WORDIEST AND LONGEST EMAILS, AND HONESTLY I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET A NEW WAREHOUSE MAN TO DOUBLE CHECK ALL YOUR SHIPMENTS. OKAY? CUZ AT END OF DAY YOU AIN'T NORDSTROM, YOU AIN'T BARNEYS, AND HELL....YOU AIN'T EVEN REVOLVE. SO YOU GOT 2 MINUTES BRO...."
i read my email to dre, and he said stop at my 2nd line, so i wasn't able to send it. after careful consideration with my feelings and the business side of things, dre helped me write a better email,
"i do not want to go back and forth with you in these emails. i spoke to chris today, and he mentioned that he was going to speak with you about this matter. pls speak with chris so you understand what happened, and we can find a resolution. you have all the information you need, and we want to proceed with payment so we can ship the rest of your brands. honestly, i love working with your store. besides this little inconvenience, i have a great relationship with chris and jamila, and i hope we can get past all this. good night! -julie"
DUDE, IT'S HARD BEING ME! I just need a man to find me in the streets and take care of me for the rest of my life so i dont hafta put up with all this BUUUUUHLSHIT. (pronounce the way Antwain and Real Housewives of Atlanta say it)
zang, it's almost 8pm. i feel sad that i stay this long in the office and have no life.
OH HEYALL NO
im leaving.
Friday, January 7, 2011
i wanna cop a field
herro world!
there is so much goin on at foundation showroom i dunno where to start!
for appetizers..........im at agenda tradeshow, and none of the bosses are here. to celebrate, tara and her homie copped a field last nite. While they were getting free drinks and some tongue action from good looking skater men, i was sleeping. man, i walked into that bar and saw 1 TOO MANY DUDES WITH SKINNY JEANS AND A BEANIE. ain't trying to make out with a trailer matt. but dayam, i always miss out on the good stuff. One day, i hope i can cop a field like Tara the Riviera.....
so guess who's the boss in charge right now....brawny man John. he hasn't gotten drunk at all during this show. he eats his steak and potatoes at 8pm and calls it a night a 10pm. then we seen him get up early to take "conference calls" at 7am. im so proud that Lisa got him whooped and turned him into a responsible businessman. i remember like 4 years ago, john used to walk into the showroom with free subway coupons, cuz the girls at subway eat fresh were trying to cop a field with him. now, he's whooped, but responsible and hard working. and he bosses me around, and forces me to carry 60 pounds of linesheets while he has 1 tiny carry-on with his personal outfits.
whatelse......Ari is getting hitched tomorrow in puerto rico. LEX, YOU STILL HAVE 24 HOURS TO SAVE YOUR LIFE! DON'T DO IT. ME AND TARA FEEL FOR YOU!
just kidding Ari! don't fire me! you will make a great husband, and you cook like a chinese fast food chef! remember that time when you walked into my office corner and tried to make fun of my peoples:
i miss everyone. i hate LA!
bye!
there is so much goin on at foundation showroom i dunno where to start!
for appetizers..........im at agenda tradeshow, and none of the bosses are here. to celebrate, tara and her homie copped a field last nite. While they were getting free drinks and some tongue action from good looking skater men, i was sleeping. man, i walked into that bar and saw 1 TOO MANY DUDES WITH SKINNY JEANS AND A BEANIE. ain't trying to make out with a trailer matt. but dayam, i always miss out on the good stuff. One day, i hope i can cop a field like Tara the Riviera.....
so guess who's the boss in charge right now....brawny man John. he hasn't gotten drunk at all during this show. he eats his steak and potatoes at 8pm and calls it a night a 10pm. then we seen him get up early to take "conference calls" at 7am. im so proud that Lisa got him whooped and turned him into a responsible businessman. i remember like 4 years ago, john used to walk into the showroom with free subway coupons, cuz the girls at subway eat fresh were trying to cop a field with him. now, he's whooped, but responsible and hard working. and he bosses me around, and forces me to carry 60 pounds of linesheets while he has 1 tiny carry-on with his personal outfits.
whatelse......Ari is getting hitched tomorrow in puerto rico. LEX, YOU STILL HAVE 24 HOURS TO SAVE YOUR LIFE! DON'T DO IT. ME AND TARA FEEL FOR YOU!
just kidding Ari! don't fire me! you will make a great husband, and you cook like a chinese fast food chef! remember that time when you walked into my office corner and tried to make fun of my peoples:
i miss everyone. i hate LA!
bye!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)