the day the earth stood still

i have the saddest news ever today.....my favorite person is leaving the office.  :(


Gummo has decided to move on to better things in his life.  I actually thought he had reach his peak...being a peon in this office.  But once again, if God can move mountains, God can surely open great opportunities for Trailer Matt.  Im really really sad.  I have some of the most special memories with Gummo.  He let me give him titty twisters everyday, he taught me how to make fun of asians with fobby accents, he showed me how to not be prejudice against people with only $5 in their bank account, he showed me that people who eat hamburger helper really arn't always obese, but most of all.....Gummo was my first skinny white non-skater..but tried to look like a skater friend.  He carried a skateboard with him (but it was just for looks.  he didnt know how to ride it....it matched his Supreme t-shirt)

 I still remember the beginning, when he applied for an internship....he sat on the couch with his backpack...looking like the geek he is....timid as Fievel....scared to talk to Dre...but we seen this dude, like little Fievel...make a life for himself in the Big Apple.  And dog gone it....this dude survived on pennies...saved up...ate mac n cheese...and lived in some ghetto ass apartment with holes in the ceiling...and he made it.  He made something of his geeky self.  I'M SO PROUD OF HIM.  maybe....just maybe...if the stars are aligned.....he will even get laid someday.  but i dunno...cuz matt is always talking bout how he wants to "save himself for marraige"......

anywayz.....matt still has 1 week left..........but already miss him!!!!!!!   CAN YOU BELIEVE I GREW SUCH A SOFT SPOT FOR SUCH A LOSER LIKE MATT?  THIS IS SOOOOOO NOT LIKE ME, CUZ NORMALLY IM SUPERFICIAL AND HATE PEOPLE.....

 GUMMO....MY LITTLE FIEVEL......

COLLARD GREEN SAVED MY RIFE

i have been having stomach pains the whole week.  it was intense...and at times i couldnt sit down, and i laid in the fetal position.  it was very painful.  neWaYz....i went to soul food restaurant with Hutch after work yesterday...and ordered me some catfish and collard greens. 

I DON'T KNOW WHAT BIG MA PUTS IN THOSE GREENS...BUT IT SAVED MY RIFE!  i got a side dish of greens to go, and i just ate it 10 minutes ago.   honestly, im black.   amazing.


okie....tonite im going out with my girlfriends......don't plan on getting wasted cuz i wanna become a better christian..and get my life on the right track.  so im definitely cutting myself at the bar after my 5th drink.

byee!

bobby is the winner

 

DUDE I LOOK LIKE POO TODAY.

MY FACE LOOKS JACKED CUZ ITS ALL TASERED UP, AND I DONT FEEL CONFIDENT.  SO I DIDNT EVEN TRY TO LOOK NICE.  I JUST ROLLED OUTTA BED, BRUSHED MY TEETH, WASHED MY FACE, AND WALKED TO WORK.


I WALKED AROUND THE OFFICE BAREFOOT CUZ MY SHOES AND SOCKS GOT WET FROM THE RAIN.

GEEZ.......I DONT THINK ILL EVER BECOME FAMOUS.  :(



anywayz.....TODAY IS OPPOSITE DAY AT FOUNDATION.....

dude, my mom told me she was taking me to costco, but instead she took me to a cosmetic clinic.  she tricked me....and she told me it was time to get my moles removed from my face...and i freakkkkkkkkkkkkkkked out...cuz a bunch of my korean girlfriends have done this procedure (its as common as getting the double eyelid surgery)...and they always tell me it hurts like a biznatch.  like one of my homegirls did it in korea, and she said it hurt so bad that she couldnt go on with the procedure.  and if u know me, im such a pansy when it comes to pain, and i always run.  thats the main reason i didnt' jump the bandwagon to get the double eyelid surgery...cuz i aint down with nobody slitting my nonexistant eyelids...and after awhile i come to like my almond shaped eyes...and your eye shadow and eyeliner look better that way.

NEWAYZ.....this woman freakin asks me to lay down on a sanitized table, and i told my mom...oh heyall no....im going back to the car...but my mom got all Korean on me...and forced me to do it....so i laid on the table like a sardine waiting for execution.

first this woman examined my face and put cream all over my moles.  and i could feel my palms getting sweaty...and my feet started twitching cuz i was scared.  i asked for my mom to hold my hand, but she freakin' left to a korean grocery store to buy her cosmetic aesthetician friend some lunch and sold me out.  DUDE...SHE WRAPPED MY FACE IN SOME KIND OF SERAN WRAP....and then i didnt think it was so bad...like i could handle cream and seran.  She left me for 30 minutes on that table, and i thought the cream was probably melting off my moles...so i could handle this.  then she walked over later on to remove the seran....and i thought it was a wrap....BUT OH HEYALL NO...THIS BITCH TOOK OUT SOME LASER LOOKING GUN AND I WAS READY TO CRY.  AND ACTUALLY I DID TEAR UP.  LEMME TELL YOU.....THIS WAS THE EQUIVALENT OF GETTING A TATOO REMOVED FROM YOUR FACE...  and i don't even have tatoos...just my natural born moles!  she got that laser, and zapped each cell containing pigment on my face...and i wanted to cuss out the whole room including my mom....but i had no choice...cuz i was tearing up...and the shit hurt so badly.  ...... 45 min later, i was all tasered up..zombified...and desensitized.  i had no hate, no more pain...my face felt numb....and this woman applied more cream over my zapped out moles.  she did the neck ones too...and those hurt like a bitch.  cuz the skin is so thin on your neck, pain factor doubles.  i looked in the mirror....all my moles gone.  including the one near my lip.  :(   that one was the stamp of God's fingerprints on my face.  now gone.  dang, koreans are messed up.  my mom wants to take me to korea to get some real cosmetic surgery.  f* that.  i ain't trying to slice up anything on my body.  big eyes or not.....the moles are as far as ill go. 

UGH.......I have a monster size headache right now...and of all places....i am on a plane.  Fortunately, im not hungover....but i just hate traveling in the air.  i feel so uncomfortable, and squishy, and my head always hurts, and i think im allergic to flying...

and this freakin flite is freakin like 6 freakin hours!!!!!!!


bahhhhhhhhhhhhh humbug.

on a side note, a few months ago i got this email from my buyer:




"HI JULIE!
is there a atonce login for Gshock?would like to order a few today. thanks!"




but then just yesterday he sent me this email:


"YO SHAWWWWWTY...WHAT IT DO, can i order me some elvis iphone case..."


this fool went from Maxfish to Greenhouse.  ya know what im sayin!    i get it....some days im american....but other days i can be fobby kohrean.

right Matt Kehry?  oh sank u.  sank u behry behry muchy.  God bress ahmehdreeeca!

DUDE

TODAY MY FREAKING BOSS ARI WALKED UP TO US IN FRONT OFFICE AND SAID:

"You know....people say I'm a cross between Brad Pitt and Christian Bale."






W

T


F


WHAT PLANET AM I ON?

NOBODY IN THIS SHOWROOM IS ON THE LEVEL OF BRAD PITT OR PAUL WALKER.

IF THAT WAS THE CASE, I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO CONCENTRATE ON GSHOCK ORDERS.


SANK U.

NOW IM GOING BOMBING.

GUMMO AND ME on aim

WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT....

 

straight gnarly.  california based reality shows suck.  the women flaunt their big boobs, tan faces, and talk about silly high school drama.  unfortunately, they rarely have style nor personality.  but these nyc women.......they are amazing.  did you see that armenian woman, who married a bank robber pick a fight?  i thought ashley minton and leah from MOB could beat me up, but this woman Drita....she is even more gangsta.  if she and i were both trying to hail a cab same time, and the cab stopped for me....i would def let her take my cab. 

DON'T LET THE PRETTY FACE FOOL YOU, SHE CAN WHOOP YOU TO PIECES